Sail Away

It turned into an impromptu sleep-over last night—not a very festive occasion, but each of us seeking comfort in the others. Silas and Cinnamon, of course, came home with me from the police station after we’d been checked out at the hospital and I’d recovered enough to give my testimony. Everything had been recorded from the wire I wore, so I was able to fill in the visual record as the voices replayed in my ears. When we got back, no one wanted to leave anyone else alone.

9:00 a.m.

The apartment is full of people. Not quite like Christmas, but the first time all these people have been in my new (Dag’s old) apartment. Maizie is jumping around like crazy and sniffing at everyone. Silas is making breakfast (guys always feel like they are pros at making breakfast, don’t you think?) and Cinnamon has been in here about twenty times to see if I’m okay.

This combination of Cinnamon and Silas and me that seems to be evolving is weirding me out. Last night we sat around like “Three’s Company,” staring at each other trying to figure out if there was a couple somewhere in the room. It’s like none of us wants to let go of one of the other two. I think Cinnamon was more shook up over losing Angel than I was, but she expresses it in a kind of sexual animation that I can’t fathom. The girl radiates heat.

I don’t know where it would have ended up if it hadn’t been for Dag’s cousin Teresia showing up. I’d almost forgotten that I invited her to stay the night for her last night in town so we could get a reasonably early start this morning. Once she was here, the tension seemed to break and she brought all of us out of our funk. She’s studying to be a doctor and took immediate charge of administering all our various medications. The doctors sent us all home with a mild sedative after the adventure yesterday, and Silas is still popping pain pills for his leg. No way he should have been busting into the Condo yesterday in his condition.

This morning, by 8:00, people started arriving. I was second thinking my decision to do this today, but when Mrs. Prior, Teri, Lars, Rhonda, and Janice, the Barista from Tovoni’s all got here, it was obvious that there was no turning back. Thank heaven for Janice. She brought espresso from the shop for everyone and somehow managed to get a perfect drink for each of us. She even remembered a cookie for Maizie.

I know there’s others that should have been invited, but this seems like the right set. I look around and realize I only knew three of these people two months ago. It seems like I’ve suddenly entered a new solar system and there is a new sun shining and new stars in the night sky. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.

Well, if we are going to do this I’d better get people loaded into cars and head north. I’ll take Teresia, Maizie, and Dag’s ashes in the Mustang. Everyone else will have to sort things out for themselves. We’re headed for Deception Pass on Whidbey Island.

8:00 p.m.

It was awkward at times. There were no dry eyes. Hell, I could hardly see to drive up there.

The sky was overcast, but once we got off the Mukilteo Ferry on Whidbey Island, Teresia and I put the top down on the Mustang, in spite of it being just over forty degrees out. We just cranked up the heater to max and the volume on the radio and played 60s Rock music all the way up to Deception Pass. We hiked down to the beach with Rhonda showing us how to get there.

It’s a beautiful place. I could recognize it immediately even though I’d only ever seen it in Rhonda’s painting. We were all walking down the path, with Lars and Cinnamon helping Silas. When it opened out onto the beach, we all stopped short. There was a man out there at the edge of the water. He had a winter coat on and a hat pulled down over his ears and he was looking out across the endless expanse of the Strait of Juan de Fuca to the open sea. While we all watched, he turned and walked away toward the south. A Black Lab came running up to him and he threw a stick further down the beach. The Lab chased it and we watched until he was out of sight.

We walked slowly across the sand to the edge of the water and just all stood there where the man had been, looking out across the water.

None of us knew what to do. I held the Urn cradled in my arms like a baby. We all came here to say goodbye and all we could do was stand there silently for about fifteen minutes. It’s too bad none of us are particularly religious. We should have had some words to say. We should have been saying “Sail away, old friend.” We should have said that we loved him—that there was never going to be anyone else like him in this world. We should have said that we’d see him in the next life. Or even that I’ll be worthy of the gift he’d given me.

But it was all silent until I knelt and began to unscrew the cap on the urn. Then everyone just silently stepped away. They stepped back and left me there alone with Dag and Maizie. I stood up with the urn outstretched in my hands and started to slowly let the ashes fall. I don’t know what suddenly gripped me—if it was Maizie’s bark or the sudden gust of wind in the air—but the next thing I knew I was spinning madly in a circle with the urn outstretched and ashes scattering in every direction and the wind picking them up in a huge cloud around me and Maizie jumping and snapping and barking like crazy.

When I finally stopped, the urn was empty. The ashes had not yet settled onto the water, but the wind was blowing them further out to sea in a cloud. Everyone closed in around me and we all put our arms around each other and cried and waved at the cloud and said goodbye and I love you.

We stopped for lunch at a little diner in Edmonds, just so we didn’t all have to part yet. We laughed at each other and set the empty urn on the table in a place of honor. We must have looked pretty weird to the staff there and any passers-by. But we didn’t care.

It was finally time that I had to take Teresia to the airport for her flight back to Sweden. Mrs. Prior took Maizie home while I joined Teresia.

“Thank you, Deb Riley,” she said to me formally. “I loved my cousin. In addition to everything else, he was a faithful guardian of my secrets. I’m so glad he had you, and that I can trust you with those same secrets.”

“Teresia,” I answered, “I don’t know what your secrets are, but they’ll be safe in The Vault. I loved Dag, too, and even if I didn’t do it for you, I’d do it for his sake. Thank you for coming to see him off with us.”

“You have some strange customs,” she said, “but it seemed like just the kind of thing he would do. I hope I’ll see you again sometime.”

“I’ve just learned about international travel,” I said. “Maybe I’ll come and visit you.” She smiled and we shook hands. She headed through security and I headed back home.

11:30 p.m.

So, I just heard a soft knock at my door. Someone has decided not to leave me alone on New Year’s Eve. I’m betting it’s Silas.

Of course, it could be Cinnamon.

Or both.

You know what? Either way, I’m going to get kissed at midnight tonight.